Doomsday

I guess scarier than death is the anticipation that leads to it. Living each day like it would be your last is supposed to be a good thing but that last day would also be full of fear because any second you could see Yamraaj climb down from the sky and take you away with him. Lately life just seems like one big last day...
A student in my college suicided because the administration harrassed him until he couldn't take it anymore, a batchmate passed away by slipping while crossing a river and hitting his head on a rock, there were blasts in Assam, Delhi, Ahmedabad, Jaipur, Mumbai, there was mass gunfiring on the streets of Mumbai. These are only incidents that I have been a distant spectator to (through news channels), during the past few months. Life has become so unpredictable for every one. I guess if you really think about it life is always unpredictable. You never know when you can meet with an accident and loose your life. Come to think of it it really isn't that hard for the person who dies but for the people who he leaves behind to live without him or her in their lives. Accidents were always a part of the fear that one lived with everyday but today we have to live with a fear of being shot at or being blasted at any corner of the street. It has become difficult for us to even walk the streets of our city without receiving ten phone calls from our parents and family and friends telling us to hurry up and go home. But really is there any certainty that there isn't a bomb sitting ready to blast inside your very own residence. Really...in today's world anything can happen.
There was always the issue of Global Warming that all of us were aware about but never consciously did anything to prevent and now that it is finally here and we can see how the seasons are actually changing, we realise that we should have done something. Sometimes when the sky becomes dark and grey in the middle of spring it does feel like the world will end that day.
To make things worse man is fighting against man. Terrorism is growing and capturing so many innocent lives. It is robbing civilians of their family members and friends. What is the reason for these innocent people to loose their lives, nobody knows. It certainly wasn't their fault.
Life lately just seems like one long grey day. If you are careful enough to avoid accidents, then the terrorists may get you, and if you are lucky enough to escape them too, eventually the ice age will come and you will freeze and become a fossil anyway. There is really no way out. A few of us may be lucky enough to live a whole life and die when our skin cannot wrinkle anymore, for the rest of us, keep living with the hope that tomorrow will not be your last and with the gratitude that you are still alive. And if you actually do want to do something for mankind, save water and electricity and fight against terrorism. If you can't do that either, just spread smiles...you'll be making the world a better place. Take care...

Delhi all the way!!!

The train journey started perfectly. We had water and a whole lot of junk food, enough to last us the entire journey and probably more. Three superly excited girls on 2 hours of sleep and with a fun-filled 4 days to look forward to, we did just as was expected of us - brought the coach down with our nonsensical conversation and hysteric bouts of laughter that pursued after every few seconds of conversation. The basic outline of our 2 hour conversation was all of us taking turns to teach each other our respective mother tongues and the sentence that we took up to complete this task was - "I will cut your throat and drink your blood", inspired from the ever famous Bengali dialogue of the character "Manjulika" in the Bollywood movie "Bhool Bhulaiyaa". The three languages being Sindhi, Bengali and Kannad, by the end of the learning session, we had mastered the dialogue in both Bengali and Kannad (I was the one who had to teach the Sindhi, only problem was that I didn't know the language well enough myself and it didn't sound half as funny or scary in my language). Unfortunately our fun was interrupted by a funny, short man who had the middle berth between our lower and upper berths so we didn't have a choice but to shut up and go to berth(bed).
Unable to curb the excitement of our trip that was to follow, 2 of us woke up pretty early and revised our Bengali and Kannad dialogues soon enough to say them to the third girl from our group who slept right through till we reached Delhi. Giggling like little girls we got down on the platform and made our way towards the exit. Two of us who were staying together headed in the direction of the car waiting for us and the third headed towards her car. The following couple of hours included freshening up, eating breakfast, getting to our first destination and waiting for the third to come. Before I move on, the purpose of the trip was basically to make a sort of documentary on the 10 ancient cities which amalgamated to form the present day city of Delhi. The trip was of four days and the day time was to be devoted to video-shooting while the evenings were devoted to having fun.

Day-1

The first day we were to cover the Old Delhi region which included Shahjanabad, Jama Masjid and The Red Fort. The city we were covering was Shahjanabad which was built by Shah Jahan. These areas being predominantly Muslim areas, we were freaked out because of the recent bomb blasts that had taken place in Delhi a couple of days before our trip. Carefully we started walking towards the market street. We couldn't decide as to where to go and all we could do was stand and argue as to what our plan of action should be. Chandni chowk being a majorly congested market area, we were honked at and screamed at to get out of the way a whole lot.
Eventually we decided that nothing was going to come out of us walking around on foot so we hired a cycle rickshaw and luckily found one, the driver of which knew the area very well. He took us around the entire area and showed us everything that we needed to see including the silver street, the paratha street (i begged my friends to go there and actually eat something, but no one agreed), the gold street, the electronics street and so on including just about every type of market that you can possibly imagine! We were so very grateful to the rickshaw driver for making our task so much easier or else we would have been able to take a video of only about half a street! Since we have a habit of complaining no matter what, it was the worst thing sitting in the narrow backseat of the rickshaw. For those who have been unfortunate enough to sit in that seat through crowded markets with non-so-pothole-devoid streets, I am sure they can understand our position. We managed to get through by exchanging seats every once in a while.
It was part scary and part funny to see how much importance a person could get just by having a camera in his hand. We got a whole lot of inquisitive glances and even some very frantic waves from people when we pointed the camera in their direction(some even if we didn't). Overall was a pretty great experience. The streets were overly crowded with people jumping over rickshaws and "thelas" just to get to the other side of the road. The electric wires were so carelessly wound over and around electric poles and hung loosely over shops and houses. There was an amalgamation of old and new houses and one could spend an entire day picking out the old ones from the new ones. There was absolutely no distinction between pedestrian and vehicular pathways. People moved in any direction where they could see an inch of space in which to walk in. All this in paths that were wide avenues that served as processional paths for the king Shah Jahan from the Red Fort till the Lahori and Delhi Gate. It is said that Shah Jahan used to be able to see till the Lahori and Delhi Gate sitting in his fort. Streets that were wide and grand have now been converted into congested markets that provide no space for people to even walk during peak hours.
Even though Chandni Chowk does not portray a perfect well-planned market, it gives us an essence of Indian street and stall markets like no other. Delicious aromas floating around in the air, inviting us to snack at every food stall in sight, no matter how stuffed we already are, shiny objects glittering out of shop windows making us wish we had more money on us to be able to purchase them, colourful clothes draped over shop fronts fluttering in the gentle breeze showing us how great it looks from every angle, people bustling past doing their everyday business or shopping not forgetting to spare a few extra seconds to stare at the people walking around with cameras, while those poor people who are unfamiliar with the area walk, clutching their bags to their chests because they have been given several warnings about pick-pockets. Whether you like it or not, that's a typical Indian market for you that all of us love!
After chandni Chowk the rickshaw headed in the direction of the Yamuna river where we saw the level of the water that was and that is presently. On the way to the banks of the Yamuna we saw the famous Hanuman temple and quite a few other temples. After the river bank we cycle-rickshawed our way to the famous Jama Masjid and Meena Bazaar. After seeing Chandni chowk, Meena Bazaar didn't present too many exciting sights, except that one man incessantly tried to follow our rickshaw which was moving at a snail's pace and eventually ended up getting verbally abused by us. Thankfully people around were too busy to notice and a scene wasn't created. The Jama Masjid was beautiful. It is a mosque made of red sandstone with marble domes. Since we were way too tired and still had the Red Fort to visit, none of us dared to even raise the question of going inside.
Following the Jama Masjid we went to the Red Fort. We left the cycle rickshaw there and gave him a huge amount of money(I am not going to disclose the amount for fear of being mocked by all people reading this), but we were so very grateful to him. We even took his interview! The Red Fort was just as monumental as we had imagined it to be. The Aurangzeb wall was the first structure we saw. Aurangzeb had later constructed this wall in front of the Lal Qila to separate the fort from the streets of the common man. After purchasing tickets and leaving our bags in the cloak room we went inside. We already had studied the fort before we went so we could pretty much point out every structure we saw. I am not going to list out all the structures because it would serve no purpose considering I can't actually show you which structure is which. Overall it was a great monument. It was admirable to see how well every structure had been preserved. The great Mughal arches and inscriptions were all great sights. There was a nice market inside the fort of handicrafts and all Indian crafts where it took all my female will power to not buy anything. Since the camera battery had just about 10 minutes of life remaining, I had to practically run all around the fort to get videos of all the buildings inside. The provided the last straw. I gave up and started to irritate everybody which paid off eventually and we were out of there within 15 minutes. The remaining is a blur.
All I remember was waking up the next morning...

i, robot

If I were a robot and you were a robot and everybody was a robot...
I would open my eyes and walk out of the closet (no need to pay for a bigger room to accommodate a bed!), no rubbing sleep-deprived eyes, no yawning, wide awake just as I had been last night and day and the day before that and the day before the day before that and before that. A quick coat of polish and oiling, followed by a quick coat of paint of the colour listed out for each day of the week.
A quick bite of battery power to charge my cells and out the door I go singing along to the shuffled playlist stored in my head. Automatic shut off of the music as soon as I am within close proximity of the college building. I enter, sit down for class. I don't yawn, stay wide awake and even manage to listen and register every single word spoken by the teacher. Four continuous lectures and I don't even need a stretch.
End of college, head home, sit down to review everything taught and finish assignments. That would be easy enough. Any books to be read would only need to be flipped and every image and letter would be imprinted on my very large digital chip that common people would call a brain. The phone rings, a member of the opposite sex tries to act smart with me, all I would need to do is check my database for his image and character profile and check off the qualities that he has that match the "dream man" list and if he fulfills the criteria that lie within a range mentioned in the database, I continue with a conversation which is randomly chosen by my brain chip out of the many recorded in my memory. If he doesn't, all I have to do is conveniently play a playlist filled with abusive words and don't stop until the call does not get disconnected. If the person is patient enough to listen through the entire list, it would be repeated.
Then a power chord inserted, I walk back into my cozy warm (cheap) closet and end my amazingly hassle-free day.
Life is easy!

Memories

Soft nostalgic music, rain pitter-pattering outside, a steaming cup of coffee and an old photo album. That is all that one needs to bring back one's entire past into the present. Life goes on, time goes on. We can never go back to relive the moments that have gone by. Life is always full of good moments and bad moments. All you need is one rainy night and every single one of those moments come flooding back to your mind and tear up your eyes.
Whether it be the glowing toothless face of your baby brother staring innocently back at you, or your mischievous face shyly smiling back having been caught in the deed, a photograph of you dressed up for your first day at school or that day at the beach when your sister and you just could not stop laughing. They may seem insignificant and just about as regular as every other moment in your life but when you sit down and look back, that very insignificant moment may be all that you need to make your day. The whispered conversation about boys at school, the hushed hiding before you pop out and yell "Surprise!!!" at your friend's birthday party, the expression on your parents' face when they receive you at the airport when you go home for the holidays, the smile on your brother's face when you get him a surprise present that he actually likes, the twinkle in your mother's eyes when she played with your baby pet hamsters, the pride in your father's walk when you topped your class...these may not even be present in the form of photographs but they are forever engraved on your heart, etches that can never be wiped away.
Life may not treat you well. You may lose friends, you may not always win the game, but no matter how difficult life is, the only thing you need to get through is a bunch of old photographs and a big enough heart which can be painted with all your memories.
So, stop reading, and start living...

Teacher's Day

I have never understood the concept of having particular days in a year dedicated to different people. Would you love your friends any more on Friendship Day than on any other day? Well, anyway, today is Teachers' Day. As much as I was against the idea of appreciating our teachers only once a year, I had to co-coordinate a small event for our teachers. Although we had a time of about a week to prepare, we waited until the very last day to actually get down to work. Who are we to wrong the words of some great man who said "Old habits die hard"?
So, with approximately 36 hours in hand, we set out to collect money, order food, order tent supplies, get gifts for teachers, get a sound system, write a decent speech, write titles for each of our teachers, get the juniors to actually turn up for the event, the list was endless. Never having been the most senior batch of the department, I had never actually had so much work to do. The juniors could not do anything right, or so it seemed. Everything they did had to be redone. Every time I tried screaming at them and chiding them for not working properly, all I could do was end up laughing at how my voice couldn't reach even the third row of the classroom while I mentally cursed each and every person who had complimented me on my soft-spokenness. Somehow I actually got people to contribute enough money to reach the required target, with the help of people who could actually speak loudly, ofcourse! By 4:30 p.m. the tent was up and the food was ready. Finally, I thought, I can sit and catch my breath and compose myself for the speech that I had to make at the beginning of the event (which incidentally was scheduled to be 4 p.m). Just as I had settled into my little corner, "Sneha", somebody screamed. Reluctantly as I limped towards the source of sound, I was asked to write a thanksgiving speech for one of my batchmates. Too tired to refuse, I took the paper and pen supplied to me, found a corner, wrote a few lines and handed it over. Just then the teachers started arriving.
I ran to the mic and fumbled to find my voice. After looking for a while, I finally found it. After a little waiting for the teachers to settle down, I started my speech. After that everything was a blur. I don't remember what I said or what I did. Faint traces of running around, holding a mic, clapping and speaking remain. By the end of it, all that I was left with was a feeling of satisfaction and immense gratitude towards my teachers. As much as I may complain, they were the reason I knew everything that I did. Some were more liked than the rest but each and every one of them had in some way or the other taught me something. All I can say is that, I salute my teachers for actually having been able to drill some sense into our thick skinned heads.

A lecture on a virtual world...or was it on settlements?

Although the topic may seem completely vague to most people not associated with architecture, this post should still be worth reading (hopefully!).
Well, this semester we have a course called "Principles of Human Settlement and Planning" which is being taught to us by one of my absolute favourite teachers who is one person who knows everything about everything. He can talk for hours about any topic under the sun. He was even a part of R.K.Pachori's team which won the Nobel Prize. Well, so anyway, coming back to the topic, the lecture started off on how settlements grew and how with time philosophers tried to define factors that influenced the growth of settlements. After pretty good discussions about how we all have personality spheres which are impacted by personality spheres of people around us, we moved on to discuss what was common between old settlements and present day settlements which would probably not change with time. The answer was...spaces to house people, congregational spaces and connections between spaces. That was when it all began...I argued with Sir that maybe in the future, congregational spaces would not be required since everything could be done through video conferencing. To that he answered, that is also the creation of a virtual space, which ofcourse I just had to counteract by saying that a virtual space was not a real physically present space on the earth surface...which led him to say what actually bemused me to such an extent that at that very moment I told myself that I had to write about this. He said, "How are you sure that everything around you is real?". And I shut up.
Normally an ardent debater, this time I was actually left speechless. What could I say? After some thought I said, then Sir there is absolutely nothing in this world that is absolute! To which he gave his wide trademark grin and said "Yes!"
That led us to a discussion on how the future would be. Video conferencing, 3-d image transfers of humans into virtual environments in which they could actually interact without being present physically, digital transfer of just about everything, just like the Jetsons. How cool would that be! Which led me to think about how crime would also become digitized. Hackers would be thieves, where they would hack into the transportation protocol and divert products or people to their desired locations and steal or kidnap. We oculd grow our choice of plants in our gardens, as fast as we want them to grow, maybe even invent new species altogether. Each one having their one chance at playing God. Really, there is no limit to human imagination. Just as I was shaken out of these thoughts by Sir as he moved on to more technical discussions on human settlements, one of my classmates called out "Sir, phir toh yeh sab moh maaya hai!". There was nothing else left for anyone else to day.

Calicut Part-II

Another day in Calicut...
We were woken up early by my friend's parents as there was a day-trip planned out for us and the car that was to take us around had already arrived. We quickly got ready and left for Kappad beach. With a few stops here and there, we reached the beach. It was gorgeous in the true meaning of the word. No excreta, perfectly jagged rocks(with danger signs painted on it!), perfect clean beach, shore line filled with coconut trees, amazing breeze. All of them added to creating a perfect postcard picture. After rock climbing in a salwar kurta(!) and taking some nice and some very stupid photographs, we got back into the car and headed for a boat ride. Her cousin knew some one who had a house boat and he had arranged a ride for us. Just as we stepped into the boat, it started raining which only made the scene more beautiful. Lots of coconut trees, a meandering coastline, scenes of women making ropes from fibres from coconut peels, coupled with rain made my day.
After the boat ride, we rushed back to the house to leave for the bride's house. Quick freshening up followed by a cup of coffee and we were out of the house.
The drive to the bride's house was about an hour long. Tired from rock climbing, I slept through the journey, the Malayalam conversation providing the perfect lullaby. The next few hours went by in a blur. We reached, walked about aimlessly in the bride's house for a while, shifting from room to room until finally we got a glimpse of the beautifully adorned bride, had a great photo session with lots of light and flashes until the bride was positively bored and even a tad bit irritated. Then came the actual mehndi ceremony in which every member of the bride and groom's family would contribute a little to the beauty of the bride's hands decorated with exquisite mehndi patterns.
During the ceremony there was a live example of Modernism in front of us. The bride had already gotten mehndi put on her hands by a professional before the ceremony and the family members would only come and touch the tip of a cone to her hand and pose for a photograph. Talk about forgetting our traditions!
After clicking photographs and sneaking in a few tid-bits of conversation, we moved out for dinner. Biryani with fried chicken, eaten in the typical desi way by our hands, was all we needed to satiate our appetites. Since there were no elders who had accompanied us from the groom's side as a tradition, there were very few pleasantries exchanged and soon enough we headed back to the groom's house for another karaoke session. Too tired to show any enthusiasm, we headed straight to a bedroom and sat and talked until it was time to leave. While leaving, my friend made sure that she kept no secret of the fact that I had told her that I would write about my trip on my blog. While my friend bore my weight as I sat on her lap during the ride home, we talked and laughed and I enjoyed my last night in Calicut. Upon reaching home, we were greeted by her grandmom who smiled sweetly at me and asked "Coffee?". With a huge grin on my face, I quickly replied, "Yes, please!"
After that I only remember waking up the next day. We quickly got ready and I packed my bags, dreading the nauseating 6-hour flight back. As the rest of the family was heading out to the marriage house, I said my good-byes. After a last mug of coffee, we headed out to the airport. We spoke little on the way there because it was too much for us to bear that we were departing again. It had hardly set in that we were actually seeing us together, and it was already time for us to part ways again.
Sad and heavy hearted I said good bye, hugged her as tightly as I could with all the energy that I was left with after she squeezed me with all her might, and left. The ride back was uneventful.
Overall, the trip was a perfect one. In one weekend, I managed to see both the nature and the culture of Kerala, and I mean it in the literal sense!
If nothing else, I am sure my friend's family will carry the memory of my coffee to their graves...

Calicut Part-I

Althought I had heard alot about the beauty of Kerala, I hadn't actually been able to see it myself until a few weeks back. Going down to Calicut to see an old friend who I hadn't seen for the past 3 years just for a weekend didn't seem like a very bright idea, considering that the air ticket cost me almost as much as a trip to Dubai and back. I really wanted to see her and didn't really know when else I would get the opporunity to since she lives all the way in Aberdeen, Scotland, so I mustered up enough guts to ask my Dad if I could go down to visit her. After a lot of convincing that Calicut is not a gangster city (I really don't know where he got that idea from!), he finally agreed.
I had my part of the trip planned which included getting on the flight to Calicut and from Calicut, the rest was left upto my dear friend.
Since she was in India for a cousin's marriage scheduled for the same weekend that I was visiting for, she made it very clear in her guilt laden voice that she wouldn't be able to show me around much because we had to attend a few marriage ceremonies. Being too overwhelmed with the fact that I was actually going to see her, I didn't pay much attention. So, eager and very bewildered, I took a train to Delhi and then finally boarded the plane to Calicut which finally brought me to Calicut after 6 whole hours of nauseating air travel including 3 take-offs and 3 landings at Mumbai, Coimbatore and Calicut.
I exited the small airport fast enough to find no car waiting for me outside. After making a few calls, I finally got through to my friend and got to know that she was just 5 minutes away (which actually meant 20 minutes). The view from the airport was spectacular- green hills and valleys with lush vegetation, clouds lying close to the land and people strolling by wearing shirts and lungis. Cracking up at the very sight of men walking around with just one piece of white cloth wrapped around their waists(no offence intended, it was just very new to me!), I tried not to make it too obvious and waited. Finally she came, and thus started my tour of Calicut and the experience of a lifetime(I actually mean that).
Being a South Indian Muslim, her family members had to stop at a mosque on the way to her house to recite their Friday afternoon prayers. We couldn't stop talking! There was so much to actually talk about. Neither of us could actually believe that we were actually seeing each other! We reached home, to be greeted by her entire family standing at the doorstep just to welcome me! Feeling very special and a little overwhelmed and shy, we said goodbye to her family who left for a marriage function and went inside. Being an architecture student by heart, the first thing I noticed was the house and ofcourse wanted a tour of it but since both of us couldn't stop asking each other questions, that topic quickly went unnoticed.
Tired from all the air sickness I asked her if I could make myself a cup of coffee. Ofcourse we couldn't afford to stop talking for a second, so we skipped to the kitchen together. Her grandmom had stayed back to make sure I was comfortable. While my friend provided me with coffee and sugar and a whole lot of "thank you for coming here just to meet me"s, I mixed the coffee and sugar with a bit of water and starting mixing it to make a consistent paste, the North Indian way. This fascinated both my friend and her grandmom to such an extent that they kept peeking into my mug after every few second to see what I was trying to do!
Anyways, after that followed a bit of freshening up and some chicken biryani which came garnished with gasps of "You are going to eat only that much!". Ignoring that, we took out plates to the swing in her garden and continued our chat. We sat there for quite long discussing my now non-existent love life. After that was time for the beach.
I had been warned against the orthodox views of the Muslim community in Calicut and been instructed to wear only salwar suits or at the risk of exposing, kurtas with jeans. I discovered that Calicut was the last few cities in which we did not have to haggle with auto rickshaw walas and paid by the meter. Just as we reached the beach I was warned that it was famous for it's excreta enriched sand. Making sure we walked as carefully as possible, we very casually ignored the beach, the sea and the sand and had eyes only for each other (I know that sounds horrible but that is actually what happened, we just couldn't stop talking!). After a lot of careful walking, we got picked up by her parents and drove around the city market a bit to pick up a few things that they needed. I thought she was kidding when she said that she always bumped into someone no matter where she went, which is why she always had to behave herself in public and not be too loud or preposterous, but we actually did bump into no less than 2 families within a time span of close to an hour!
Everything was going well, I still could not actually come to believe that I was seeing her, we couldn't stop talking, I was enjoying myself, but there was just one glitch which was probably the only thing that I didn't like about the trip-Malayalam. I didn't understand it. Everybody spoke to me in Malayalam and looked at me waiting for me to answer, but ofcourse all I could do was shrug my shoulders and reply with an "I am sorry I don't understand what you are saying!"
Done with shopping, we had some ice cream and headed home and got ready to go to the grooms house for a family get together with karaoke and dinner. Excited to meet her family but a little sceptical about all the Malayalam I would have to listen to, we left home.
On reaching, I was introduced to a whole lot of people, and listened to a lot of Malayalam comments about me(nice ones ofcourse!) which had to be translated to English for me. Even in the grooms house, we couldn't stop talking. After a lot of talking, we went outside to listen to the karaoke. Surprisingly, I heard all the latest Bollywood songs being sung. Enjoying the loudness of the music which gave us an opportunity to continue our girly secret conversation, we sat there for a while.
Then came dinner time, (Safa, I still haven't forgiven you for this!). Since it was tradition that the ladies eat after the gents, we politely declined all the invitations to dinner while the gents were eating. After they finished, all family members immediately came to me and forced me to eat. Just then, my friend very conveniently left me alone because she could not eat until the ladies had started, which was infuriating because the ladies had started! Angry and feeling out of place for the first time, I quietly ate my dinner, shortly after which we left for her house. By the time we reached I was tired and irritated with her. After making myself another cup of coffee I decided to get my revenge. I had told her that I would put henna on her hands for the wedding. By the time we got home, she was so tired that she couldn't care less. Finding the perfect
opportunity for my revenge, I emotionally blackmailed her and made her sit for another hour with henna on her hands and then when I was satisfied with the punishment, we went to bed.
To be continued...

Just a bad day...

Today would possibly be one of the worst days of my life... High fever combined with cold and cough and weakness coupled with the departure of my parents and siblings after an entire month or so of being with me here. Couldn't get much worse could it? Well apparently it could. A good friend of mine called up and asked to go out to dinner. Desperate to get some fresh air and relief from mess food, I immediately agreed.
On our way to the restaurant we lost our way no less than two times and the journey which should have otherwise taken about 15 minutes, ended up taking us 40 minutes. The restaurant we were headed to was under renovation. They were serving food in a small dingy room with plastic tables with torn table cloths and wobbly chairs. Too exhausted and frustrated to find any other place, we sat and ordered. The food was allright and overall the meal could have been much worse.
Just as we exited the building, it started pouring. It was 9 p.m. and my hostel curfew was 8:30! We waited for a few minutes, hoping that the rain would stop or atleast reduce, but ofcourse it didn't. Since I didn't want to have to listen to my warden's screaming, I chose to head out in the rain. After all, how bad could it be?
Turns out, it can be really bad. The rain stung my face as we drove as slowly as possible to our college. By the time we reached we were completely drenched. Ever since I have been back, I have been sneezing. And just when I thought, it really cannot get much worse than this, I was informed by one of my classmates that we have to submit an assignment tomorrow that I had not even started on. So here I am, still a little wet, with a drippy nose, a pulsating headache, ever-increasing body temperature, writing on my blog, thinking about how I am actually going to start working on my assignment...Welcome to my life! :)

Strings attached

"If I found a job, a project, an idea or a person I wanted-I'd have to depend on the whole world. Everything has strings leading to everything else. We're all so tied together. We're all in a net, the net is waiting, and we're pushed into it by one single desire. You want a thing and it's precious to you. Do you know who is standing ready to tear it out of your hands? You can't know, it may be so involved and so far away, but someone is ready, and you're afraid of them all. And you cringe and you crawl and you beg and you accept them-just so they'll let you keep it. And look at whom you come to accept."


No, those are definitely not my words. That is an extract from "The Fountainhead" by Ayn Rand. Undoubtedly one of the best books that I have read. The book has so many varied characters. Each is defined by its flaws and its strength. Among the many powerful dialogues in the book, this one hasn't left my memory. It is the absolute brutal truth of life. The only thing that we have in our hands is our freedom. As long as we stay detached from everybody around yet enjoy their company and provide good company to them, we are free. As soon as we desire somebody, love somebody, we become dependent on that one person and indirectly to so many other people. Our happiness becomes completely dependent on them. Our freedom is no more ours.
Their thoughts govern our minds and we ourselves give them the power to hurt us and cause pain. As long as you depend only upon yourself, your life is yours and so is your happiness and your failures. You are at no one's mercy but your own. There is always someone waiting around the next corner of your life to wrench your happiness away from you. Happiness never lasts. It will if it is yours. Share your happiness with everybody around but don't expect, don't get attached. Life is short and if it is spent depending on others, it cannot be lived fully.
Although these are perfectly correct, unfortunately the human heart does not permit it. As much as we try to stay detached and not let others around us affect us, somehow or the other they manage to get to us and be a factor that determines our happiness or sadness. Emotional fools that we are. All we can do is try to achieve a balance on our dependence on others and on ourselves. All the best!

Twinkle

The faint drizzle charming my forehead. Head held high. A whistle in the heart, just not making a sound. Walking with a spring in my step, reveling in my own insignificance. Butterflies fluttering about. Trees smiling, flowers blushing, crickets cheering. Leaves glistening, dogs lazying around, goats munching on the leaves without a bother. Each and everything a small part of this beautiful world, yet each significant in it’s insignificance.

Moving away from the beauty of my college campus, onto the busy city streets. Nothing can dampen my spirits, nothing can stop my smile gradually reaching out to touch my eyes. Out with the headphones, no more droning horns, no more buses growling. Sweet music, making my world dance. Walking on and on, don’t know where. All I know is the happiness my heart feels. Happiness in being alone yet being a part of something so grand as this world. Happiness in being able to see, hear, touch and feel. Happiness in every smile that I see and every smile that I spread. Happiness with every spring in my step. May the journey of life go on forever like this. Nothing but happiness in the heart with my smile having reached out and touched my eyes…

Writers block

I have been bored as hell! There is the never ending strike and political issues going on in college. Im feeling older with every new first year kid getting admitted into my college as a junior. With age comes insecurity. I have no clue as to what I am supposed to do with my life. Fourth year has arrived and now I am much more confused than I ever was with my future degree options. All I do is crib and complain about how useless I am. The crappy 2 Mbps net connection that our college provides for a zillion computers to share has finally agreed to open this site and now since it is open I think it would be a colossal waste to not write anything.
But then again I can't even think of anything to write other than how useless and old I am. I am so bored that I am actually bluntly asking people who are online to entertain me! One genius of a person actually told me to follow him to do the Hakuna Matata dance! Well, that is when I decided that I should just entertain myself (sorry Siddharth).
Let's talk about Architecture. Architecture is basically designing buildings. Everybody knows that and even though I am studying it I don't really know too much to actually write about it without sounding even more bored than I am already sounding. So, let's not talk about architecture.
Let's talk about men! They are the most stupid and immature beings to ever have walked upon planet Earth. Oh wait, everybody knows that. Another topic gone down the drain.
Life is a pain. Sometimes you have so much to do that you wished you had nothing and sometimes you have absolutely nothing to do that you wished that you had something, anything, to do!
Yes, I am a pessimist. All I do is complain. I told you right at the beginning. I warned you!
Alright now I'm bored of this also. Ta!

A lesson...

This post I owe to my dad.
I was walking back to my place with my dad from the parking lot and he randomly pointed out to this baby peepal plant and said that it was his inspiration. I thought that he had used the wrong word so I put on my "Ha! I am smarter than you!" expression and pointed it out. He got back at me by saying that he knew what inspiration meant.
He went on to tell me that that peepal plant had been cut down atleast five times in the past few years and had regrown. Since it was on the premises of a government building, it was cut down every time it grew a bit. After it kept regrowing, they got tired of cutting it and decided to uproot it completely. They dug a hole into the ground where it grew and pulled it out from its roots. This was a few months back. Still, here it is today, a fresh sapling.
He went on to tell me how we must never loose hope in life. Even thought we may have major setbacks, we must always regrow and replenish ourselves and believes in ourselves. Obstacles will come and go but we have got to keep going. I already knew this from before and had read several stories with this moral but this small little lesson that my dad gave me actually brought a wide long-lasting smile to my face. I don't know whether it was because I realised the beauty of Nature in the smallest of things or whether it was seeing the love and care in my dad's eyes when he told me the story. Whatever it was, the tiny little sapling made my day!

A visit to the toy store...

Today my parents actually forced me to leave work early because they realised how much I hated it and because since Friday is the Sunday of the Gulf countries, dad had a half day at work so we had a shopping trip planned for the evening. My brother had his football playing session lined up so he didn't join us so it was just my parents and me. We went to a boring mall with a great electronics store and some others. After my dad pondered over which foot massager to buy(yes, a foot massager!) and didn't end up buying one, we thought we would drop into 'toys r' us' which is one of the biggest toy store chain in the world(?). I wanted to get a stuffed toy for myself so i dragged my parents along with me. We looked at a thousand soft toys but I didn't find any good enough so we just walked around the store looking for some toys for my cousins back in India.
Walking through those shelves full of toys really really brought back memories for me. I actually felt like a kid again. We used to frequent the store alot when we were young and all 3 of us siblings used to disperse, my brother to the action figures section, sister to the grown up peoples section, me to the whole store. When I was younger, I had a stuffed blue bunny who I used to hug to sleep. It had been sewed and fixed so many times by my Mom that it even looked a bit distorted, but I just would not let my Mom throw it away. Fortunately for her, one day, my brother, who had an incessantly annoying and very weird habit of throwing anything he could get his hands on out of the window when he saw it open, threw my bunny out. I never saw him again.
While walking around in the store today I could actually picture everything that I used to see as a kid. All the colours, the evil men, the cute soft toys, the board games. Kids running around, parents looking for the perfect gift for their little children, grandparents trying to run behind their grandchildren. A small thing like a visit to the toy store can actually make you see soo many emotions all in one place.
It got me so excited walking through those aisles that I actually clapped everytime I saw something I liked or remembered and walked with a hop in my step. My parents were amazed at how small a kid I still was. Later on on the drive back home I sat back and thought about it. It doesn't really take much to change a person's mood. A simple look at a memory could make you laugh or cry, no matter how agitated you are, a glance at the serene and supportive faces of your parents can immediately calm you down, your anger can melt away in a moment just by a little squeeze of your hand by the person you love, the silliest of jokes can make you smile admidst all your tears. Life isn't easy, no one said it would be, but easy or not, it is beautiful.
The world around you is not out to get you. It is just around you always in it's various forms, colours and messages. It just takes a positive mind set from your side to make it look beautiful...
And all that...from a visit to the toy store!
Note to self:Stop thinking too much!

The life of an introvert...

Often people say, "you should try to be slightly more 'extrovertish'". It's easy for them to say. Being an introvert is much more complicated than just being shy. Ofcourse, the basic root is shyness but there is a lot more involved in a person's behaviour as an introvert.
"Oh my God! That guy is looking at me! What must he be thinking? Does he expect me to say anything? Do I look awful? Is my hair too messy? Are there too many wrinkles on my shirt? Are my shoes dirty? Should I just walk away? Should I look back at him or avoid his gaze? Ahhh!!!"
That is the general train of thought that goes through an introvert's mind each and every time a person does so much as look at them! Imagine how mentally tiring a day at the mall must be!
Being an introvert roots from being insecure and having low self esteem. People who are very secure about themselves, specially their appearances, are mostly extroverts. They like talking to people, interacting, socialising, because they know that the opposite person is enjoying their company. For an introvert, however, it isn't easy to even approach a person. The lack of self esteem makes them think that it would be better if they just kept to themselves because they are too boring or too ugly to be in the presence of confident people so they just prefer staying out of the social scene.
Ofcourse this is no hard and fast rule, it's just something I have come to notice in the people around me and even in myself to some extent. There are even people out there who prefer not socialising because they think that they themselves are their best company. So, if you are an extrovert, the next time you see a person who looks unconfident, approach them and make them feel comfortable, it'll work much better than saying "you should try to be slightly more 'extrovertish'".

LAN gaming memories

One of my fondest memories of my last year at school are of the I.T. centre at our school. Since the number of girls in our batch who took computer science as their sixth subject was much lower compared to the boys, we only got a chance to occupy the new state-of-the-art I.T. centre in our 12th grade. Ofcourse it turned out to be not so state-of-the-art but it was much better than the dingy senior computer lab so we considered ourselves lucky nonetheless.
The boys had already installed a very old version of the Unreal Tournament on the systems and we thought we would try playing just for the heck of it. All of us were beginners but somehow that game became a crazy addiction. Every computer class we used to finish our programming assignment as quickly as we could and then start our gaming sessions. Our teacher was too busy with her work to be bothered. All she saw was that our fingers were moving their way across the keyboard and she thought we were working and satisfied herself with that and ofcourse, being the angels that we were, we took full advantage of her ignorance.
We used to play "Capture the flag" the most. I remember initially shooting in the direction of every movement I came across on the screen, ending up killing my team mates half the time, which not only cost us the game but much more. The team mate I had killed would exclaim loud enough for our teacher to hear and would result in additional programs to write which would last us the entire class. We even played with the boys a couple of times but got thrashed badly because they had had much more practice, considering they had hogged the I.T. centre for two years before we could even get the privelege of entering it! (hmph!). The boys used to keep amazingly random names for their computers on the network. I mention this because one very vivid memory that I have is of a screen with words flashing on it saying "Pope kills God!" That is something you will never ever get to see! All that apart, it was just so much of a blast being a part of the computer science batch of 2005 and I would do anything to just get one more go at it! We did get better at the game by the end of the year ofcourse. We did! really!

Ode to Mario Bros.!

I really don't know how this really random topic came to my mind but when it did, I kind of abandoned all my other thoughts and just couldn't help but write about this!
For the people who have no clue of what I am talking about, Mario Bros. is a very old videogame. It has 2 characters, namely Mario and Luigi. It is my all time favourite in videogames. Even though nowadays there are state of the art animation techniques being used with the super high resolution, I still think this game had and still has it's own charm which does not need any sort of high resolution video streaming to be appreciated.
It has some totally random moves like jumping and hitting bricks which get you coins(points), chasing stars to gain lives, getting killed if you jump on evil looking flowers which keep popping out of flower pots(imagine how hard it must've been to actually get flowers to look evil!), gathering coins suspended in mid-air, throwing stones at mutant turtles and then jumping on their shells to make them skid towards the rest of the duck and turtle enemies to kill them...oh what a game it is!
Even if you aren't much of a videogame person, try this one out! You will get addicted!

Before you go knockin' on heaven's door

Just yesterday as I was saying my daily prayers, it suddenly struck me - "who exactly am I praying to? Is God a man or a woman??". Since I could not decide on which gender to support, I postponed my prayers till I could clear the conflict in my mind. So, I got thinking...To begin, I started to think of every picture I had ever seen of God; the problem just got worse, according to my religion, there are several Gods and Goddesses up in heaven, and not being a very religious person, I could only vaguely recall a few images of some of them. After that, I had to reframe the question in my mind; the new question was - "Is the Almighty a man or a woman??", just to be specific.
Since my past knowledge wasn't helping in any way, I decided to just debate it out with myself. I took out a sheet of paper and weighed the cons of each gender in their suitability for the greatest job of all. Following are my observations and inferences:
Job description:
-Deciding the fate of the mortals on Earth
-Answering prayers and troubleshooting for the mortals

Male:
-too impulsive (job includes offering practical solutions to problems)
-short-tempered
-impatient (job includes listening to prayers all day long)
-weak communication skills (job includes frequent communication with mortal clients)

Conclusion: Applicant found to be inefficient in listening to, and answering prayers.

Female:
-indecisive (job includes decision making)
-uptight (job includes deciding futures in a composed state of mind)
-too sensitive (job includes impartial decision making)

Conclusion: Applicant found to be inefficient in making fateful decisions.

Hence, neither men nor women proved to be good enough to be the Almighty. How could I possibly continue praying to someone I didn't even know the gender of! After a couple of hours of scrutiny and intense thinking, I decided to just improvise. Hence, I arrived at the conclusion that the Almighty is a mighty ball of light which is male when it needs to decide our fate and female when we need some help. Satisfied with my decision (which took me approximately 4 hours of speculation), I got back to my prayers;
"Dear God,
Please let me do a good job at work tomorrow"
"Dear Goddess,
Please help me at work tomorrow..."
:)

The Comfort Zone

Ever so often in life, we get so comfortable with something or someone that we forget what it is like to do new things or be with new people...ever had that feeling?
No?
Well..I have. It can be the most satisfying feeling ever. Nothing to care about, nothing to be concerned about. You have your bed, your blanket and your cute little pug always waiting for you when you return home from work. All you have to do is kick off your shoes, change into your ever-so-comfortable pyjamas, and get into bed. You feel all the fatigue and frustrations draining out of your body as you sink deeper and deeper into your ever-so-comfortable (and not to forget expensive) mattress. Then all you do is lie there reading all evening until you finally have to get up to answer nature's call. And then perhaps a little hunger kicks in, you get yourself some snacks to nibble upon and aloha! you are back in your very own ever-so-comfortable bed with your ever-so-comfortable and expensive mattress under your ever-so-comfortable and warm blanket. That is what we do day in and day out on every working day of the week. Come the weekend and we realise we have loads of work to do around the house, cleaning, dishwashing, laundry etc. etc. and by the time you are done with all of them, ahh there is the monday again. And then again we goto work, get back and return to our ever-so-comfortable life.
In this hectic life, where do we find the time to do things that we are good at?
Things that make us happy? Things that bring out our talents?
We get so comfortable with our lives that we forget what it is like to take risks. We stop socialising, stop doing new things and stop taking risks. Life goes on with its rhythmic monotony and it's droning background music. We really have to wake up and smell the flowers. Start doing new things, meeting new people.
Throw out the old comfortable bed, get yourself a new perspective. Life isn't over, it's never too late to start over. Take risks, let your hair down and shoot for the stars.


Ok I'm done...now back to bed...:)

Childhood memories...

Do u remember when you last went outside the warmth and comfort of your cozy little apartment to splash in the roadside puddles and dance in the rain?
Do you remember when you last bought candy floss from a street vendor and fed it to your mouth and your nose and your clothes?
Do you remember when you last hid behind a closet door to jump out and scare your dear roommate?
All these little things, which never fail to bring a smile to my face, are long forgotten. The innocence of childhood fades out with time and all we are left with is an abyss which we sink deeper into with each passing day. With each day added to our age, our worries and tensions increase.
Childhood is the most pure and liberating time of any individual's life. How many times have you said to yourself..."I wish I could be four again". As you grow older, you get burdened with responsibilities, grievances and disappointments. You have a family to feed, parents to look after, friends to be there for. Every day is like a race...in which some of us dash for the win and some just struggle to reach the finish line.
Just a glance over your childhood photographs alone can bring a huge smile to your face that lasts throughout the day. Memories of climbing over the fence to retrieve your tennis ball from the strict neighbours house, pouring the milk into the sink coz it tastes so bad, gobbling up your meal just so that you can get to the dessert faster, going to school sleepy eyed and tired from the late video gaming session the previous night, holding your best friends hand in anticipation just as the board exams results are about to be declared, singing in the bus on the way to school picnics...I can just go on and on. memories from childhood are the fondest ones that we carry with us throughout life.
Even today, if you want to get out of your daily morose schedule and show all those 32 teeth of yours to the world, do something you would have done all those years back when you were a kid. Be wild, go crazy and dont hesitate, just let hell run loose.