Before you go knockin' on heaven's door

Just yesterday as I was saying my daily prayers, it suddenly struck me - "who exactly am I praying to? Is God a man or a woman??". Since I could not decide on which gender to support, I postponed my prayers till I could clear the conflict in my mind. So, I got thinking...To begin, I started to think of every picture I had ever seen of God; the problem just got worse, according to my religion, there are several Gods and Goddesses up in heaven, and not being a very religious person, I could only vaguely recall a few images of some of them. After that, I had to reframe the question in my mind; the new question was - "Is the Almighty a man or a woman??", just to be specific.
Since my past knowledge wasn't helping in any way, I decided to just debate it out with myself. I took out a sheet of paper and weighed the cons of each gender in their suitability for the greatest job of all. Following are my observations and inferences:
Job description:
-Deciding the fate of the mortals on Earth
-Answering prayers and troubleshooting for the mortals

Male:
-too impulsive (job includes offering practical solutions to problems)
-short-tempered
-impatient (job includes listening to prayers all day long)
-weak communication skills (job includes frequent communication with mortal clients)

Conclusion: Applicant found to be inefficient in listening to, and answering prayers.

Female:
-indecisive (job includes decision making)
-uptight (job includes deciding futures in a composed state of mind)
-too sensitive (job includes impartial decision making)

Conclusion: Applicant found to be inefficient in making fateful decisions.

Hence, neither men nor women proved to be good enough to be the Almighty. How could I possibly continue praying to someone I didn't even know the gender of! After a couple of hours of scrutiny and intense thinking, I decided to just improvise. Hence, I arrived at the conclusion that the Almighty is a mighty ball of light which is male when it needs to decide our fate and female when we need some help. Satisfied with my decision (which took me approximately 4 hours of speculation), I got back to my prayers;
"Dear God,
Please let me do a good job at work tomorrow"
"Dear Goddess,
Please help me at work tomorrow..."
:)